Tuesday, January 27, 2009

back from the dead.....

Bad weather.

Chronic pain.

Frequent Fatigue

Fibromyalgia Syndrome

equals infrequent

Blog posts


Each day seems to bring new challenges and I am

up to them for about half the day. Then I'm just

DONE. On the days I have PT for my Knee replace-

ment, I come home, take pain meds and go to bed.

Hugs knows that on P T days, he's got to fend for himself when it comes to meals. On the alternating days without PT, I am able to do chores for about half the day...then I have to hit the bed with pain meds for a couple hours.....up long enough to cook dinner, do a load of laundry or read for a couple hours, then back to bed, due to over-whelming pain....I am just sleeping to retreat from the pain. What a shitty way to spend the winter. Is this normal for post surgical pain and fatigue? I don't think so. I feel like I've been hit with a truck. The surgeon and specialists had suspected this is what would happen for me. They are not surprised, and I guess, in all honesty, I am not either. Major pain is just a huge part of my every day. And adding another major surgery just added more for my body to try to deal with. The way I understand what the doc's say, because of my FMS,my brain detects/processes pain incorrectly at an unusally hightened level and is transmitted to my poor body at an highly exaggerated level. But it's not always static. Sometimes, I have hurt myself extremely bad, and just stood there watching the blood flow and thinking "Wow, that should really hurt."

Three months is long enough to whine about my knee pain. I am tired. And discouraged. The PT guys just say, "give it time....it takes a year to heal"

Auggggghhhhhh! A YEAR?!?!?! I don't think so, Scooter! Not this girl.

Nuh uh. No thanks. I'm tired of crawling up the stairs, one at a time like an old woman. Mostly, I guess, I'm just so tired of being tired and this freaking PAIN>>>>>sigh>>>>>>>

God, give me patience...

Okay, thank you for letting me vent. I am just frustrated. My knee is doing fine, and doing everything its supposed to do. I am now able to bend the knee at 123% which is really good! I am just the victim of cabin fever, tired of winter and pain and not being able to go anywhere or do anything.

All will be better tomorrow. That is the wonder of this incredible life! That we can go to sleep on a shitty day, and wake up to a clean slate, to begin again....and hopefully do a better job of it, THIS TIME.

God grant each of us a good night's rest and restoration. And may we meet again with a smile of gratitude, knowing that through His Grace, we have another day to do small acts of kindness, in His name.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Lady of Shalott

There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.

She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot...

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half-sick of shadows,"said
The Lady of Shalott.
* * * *

And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance -
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.

-From "The Lady of Shalott" by Alford, Lord Tennyson

...just sharing some literary Bliss....
Note: The beautiful words of Alford, Lord Tennyson were put to music and are beautifully sung by Loreena McKennitt, on her allbum, The Visit . 'Lady of Shallot' is one of my very favorite McKennitt songs. It is a pure, folk-like capturing of Tennyson's poem of an elven woman who is cursed to die if ever she let's herself love. It is a showcase for the singer's voice, which moves over her entire tonal range. ' You can hear MP-3 version on Amazon.com or listen /see on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU_Tn-HxULM

ahhhhhhhhh. You are Welcome......

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...............Miss Vic

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Winter Friends

Here, in Paradise, we like more than anything else (beyond the peace and quiet),the various wildlife that abound. I feed the birds year round, and songbirds enjoy our rich food source. Especially in the cold, bleak days of our long winter, we make sure there's lots of grains and seeds for our feathered friends, such as these winter friends, the California Quail. We sometimes have as many as fifty or so,at a time, feeding here under this planting of birch trees. The Quail seem to love the seeds from these trees as well as the cracked corn that we scatter around. These little guys look like an old Laural and Hardy routine, as they wobble and strut around in the snow - and always a source of hilarity for us is the way they carry on as a bunch of old ladies, gossiping across the garden fence.

We are in awe at how well they can camouflage themselves in the birch trees, as they roost right above the reach of the "Big Yeller Bird Dog" Belle.

These are our "Winter Friends"...ones we look forward to entertaining/and being entertained BY, each year.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....the wind still blows and the creek runs downhill.
Miss Vic

DO,Please, Try this free sample!

I forgot to tell you!! Do, please, enjoy a free sample of coffee from Dunkin Donuts! Their ad didn't just mysteriously show up on by BLOG...I placed it there for your enjoyment. (I share the things I like...and I like freebies!! in my mailbox.) Therefore....just follow the link for a free sample of coffee to arrive! Yahoo!
Miss Vic

Monday, January 5, 2009

A Great New Read

I just finished a great read and thought I'd pass it along to you. Not remembering where this recommendation came from, I'll just tell you ALL how much I loved it! A biography, written by Judy Blunt, called BREAKING CLEAN. Born into a third generation of Montana homesteaders,Blunt learned early how "to rope and ride and jockey a John Deere," but also to bake bread and can vegetables. She writes so poetically about her belov-ed ranching days in Montana, that you feel that you are there with her, every step of the way, good times and bad. I found myself in this book, and wondered to myself several times, that if I was a decent writer, I could have written this as my life. Not that I ever lived in Montana, and I grew up on a farm, not a ranch....but I'll tell you THIS: some of the troubles she saw in life were definitely My Own !! And the two of us have had about as much trouble keeping our mouths closed. I finished this book in two days. It was that good!
Miss Vic

Meanwhile back at the ranch...it is blizzarding, blowing, snowing, freezing............and I am whining in the backwoods of Paradise.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Procrastination or Denial ?

Procrastination or denial ?
What is it about the beginning of a new year that makes us look back ? Why are there so many resolutions made, and ultimately ignored, forgotten or broken? At the new year, we have the opportunity to "start anew", even though God knows, we could do that on any day of the week in any month of the year! But for the sake of this post, we'll note that some, (many?) people choose this time of year to set a goal, or many goals, for themselves to accomplish in the new year. The slate's clean. There are no slip ups or failures to haunt us - a perfect time to, well...get perfect! As For me, I usually start a diet on "Monday"; I have used major birthdays,(40, 50) to "become perfect." I was going to quit smoking, lose weight, get in shape, find the perfect job, blah blah blah, before the monumental birthday arrived. We do the same every year, on New Years, stating we'll get in shape, start a diet, drink less wine, hook up the water & sewage lines to the house..(bah ha ha...just joking, here)
But then we let the day slip us by. We easily let the goal for the new year to evaporate like the steam from our first latte of the morning.
And why is it so easy to do that??!?!? Is it denial or procrastination? Is it because in polite society, we don't say to each other,THAT which would hurt the others feelings. We all noticed it over the holiday gatherings; but no one mentioned the elephant in the room: Aunt Tillie who still drinks too much; the extra thirty pounds brother Bob put on this year; the fact that sister has much more grey in her hair this year. And it's not enough that no one in the room says anything to us about that which we already know about ourselves, BUT THAT WE REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT ! Is this the River D'Nile ?? It's so easy to let each day slip by us, without taking the first step toward change. We can avoid the issue day after day, but with me, there is still "The Knowledge", and with it the guilt, because I'm choosing to ignore what I know to be true. Guilt, because I don't care enough about myself to prioritize my needs and take the first step toward health.
If I don't take care of myself, then no one will. If I don't love myself enough to do the things I know need to be done for my health to be good, then no one else will. Forget that its the beginning of the new year. Forget waiting until Monday to start. Forget about waiting for someone else to tell you. (They WONT). We need to take charge of our lives right now and do what must be done to insure that this year is going to be THE YEAR that you turned your life around and got healthy. As for me, I have to prioritize ME time. Prioritize that I am as important as every other member of my household. Make those doctor, dentist, massage appointments. Take those vitamins. Get that exercise and lose that weight. Get out of the house and socialize and enjoy life more.
And now I challenge YOU: Do it for YOU. Do it for those who depend on you to be there and to be well. And do it, as an inspiration to the others around you. You may light a fire this year.

Miss Vic about to fall off her soapbox...back at the ranch.
Happy New Year !!