Tuesday, January 27, 2009

back from the dead.....

Bad weather.

Chronic pain.

Frequent Fatigue

Fibromyalgia Syndrome

equals infrequent

Blog posts


Each day seems to bring new challenges and I am

up to them for about half the day. Then I'm just

DONE. On the days I have PT for my Knee replace-

ment, I come home, take pain meds and go to bed.

Hugs knows that on P T days, he's got to fend for himself when it comes to meals. On the alternating days without PT, I am able to do chores for about half the day...then I have to hit the bed with pain meds for a couple hours.....up long enough to cook dinner, do a load of laundry or read for a couple hours, then back to bed, due to over-whelming pain....I am just sleeping to retreat from the pain. What a shitty way to spend the winter. Is this normal for post surgical pain and fatigue? I don't think so. I feel like I've been hit with a truck. The surgeon and specialists had suspected this is what would happen for me. They are not surprised, and I guess, in all honesty, I am not either. Major pain is just a huge part of my every day. And adding another major surgery just added more for my body to try to deal with. The way I understand what the doc's say, because of my FMS,my brain detects/processes pain incorrectly at an unusally hightened level and is transmitted to my poor body at an highly exaggerated level. But it's not always static. Sometimes, I have hurt myself extremely bad, and just stood there watching the blood flow and thinking "Wow, that should really hurt."

Three months is long enough to whine about my knee pain. I am tired. And discouraged. The PT guys just say, "give it time....it takes a year to heal"

Auggggghhhhhh! A YEAR?!?!?! I don't think so, Scooter! Not this girl.

Nuh uh. No thanks. I'm tired of crawling up the stairs, one at a time like an old woman. Mostly, I guess, I'm just so tired of being tired and this freaking PAIN>>>>>sigh>>>>>>>

God, give me patience...

Okay, thank you for letting me vent. I am just frustrated. My knee is doing fine, and doing everything its supposed to do. I am now able to bend the knee at 123% which is really good! I am just the victim of cabin fever, tired of winter and pain and not being able to go anywhere or do anything.

All will be better tomorrow. That is the wonder of this incredible life! That we can go to sleep on a shitty day, and wake up to a clean slate, to begin again....and hopefully do a better job of it, THIS TIME.

God grant each of us a good night's rest and restoration. And may we meet again with a smile of gratitude, knowing that through His Grace, we have another day to do small acts of kindness, in His name.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....